Y'all may remember that last year in January, we had a
Cold Weather Adventure in Oklahoma's Red Dirt. That particular adventure caused us to renew our AAA Membership just days after it had expired.
Our AAA Membership expired this January on the 15th. That should have been our first clue not to do what we were thinking. Ha! We laugh in the face of AAA expiration!
KB and I have been talking about settling down. Getting us a place that we can let our little wanna be roots grow. You know, something that is just our own. Our property, our fence, our house, ours. There are some things in the works, work wise for KB, that could mean we need to stay in this county we are in now. That would be just fine. Out of curiosity, we've been looking at real estate. Cool, right?
Yeah, right. It's us.
4:30pm on last Friday, the 29th of January (14 days after our AAA expiration, if you are counting and 18 hours since I posted on FB that our Rolling Mansion was turning into an Arc) I say: "Honey, let's go look at that property before it gets dark" KB says, "Ok" so we plug the address into Samantha (the GPS) and headed off 6 miles or so down the road onto a previously unexplored County Road.
As we are leaving KB asks me to pray us safety on our adventure.
Lord, please keep us safe as we are looking at property today, our AAA membership expired and it would be bad to get stuck. Thank you for all your blessings. Amen.We turn left and then right and then left and go around some curves and down a gravel county road and Samantha tells us our destination is on the left. We look at the mail boxes and with some concern up this driveway. Then, we made our second critical mistake after leaving the house - we went ahead and went into the driveway. Up the little hill we see nothing but mud. Texas Red Dirt road. Slippery as snot and almost impossible to get out of clothes. The driveway looked to be about 400 yards long. I knew we were in for it when KB said "well, it's too late now".
200 yards in, we were stuck. It was my fault, I know it. First it was my idea to leave the house and then I prayed the getting stuck in the mud into the universe. Don't ever think our words aren't powerful.
OH, OH, OH! And did I mention it was also my idea to take both the dogs? Yeah, I am good like that.
Here we are, stuck, no AAA, two dogs, no 4 wheel drive (or we wouldn't have been stuck) and dark is coming fast. KB hops out and tries to get us out. No love. We made it worse. I did what I did in January of last year: Renew my AAA and request help at the same time. I thrive on humiliation. AAA Roadside Assistance says it'll be an hour. It was an hour and 15 minutes.
During this time, KB is making jokes about hearing Dueling Banjos like a scene from Redemption.
Seriously though, I can't tell this part of the story; making a rare and highly sought after appearance on cindydianne.com is the one, the only, the love of my life... KB.
Howdy, Howdy, Howdy! KB here.
So as we were sittin in the truck my wife got stuck the dogs were barkin and fussin at every little noise outside. I was almost to the point of duct tapin their muzzles when I saw a figure dressed in camo slinkin down the drive. I looked at Wife, handed her my .45 and told her it was good to go as I stepped outta the truck.
Soon as I got out, this figure stopped walkin and just stared at me with little beedy eyes that seemed to shine from under his hood, I asked if he was the tow truck driver, "Nope" he said. I asked if he was the owner of this drive "Nope" I asked him if this was the correct way to the land we were lookin at and again "Nope"
We stood there for a minute sizin each other up, and then he approached. As he walked up in the dyin light I realized how cross eyed, buck toothed and big eared the was. Have any of y'all seen

the comedian Bill Engval when he talks about a dork-fish? The face he makes durin that monologue pretty much sums up what I was lookin in.
This kid looked to be mid twenties, skinny as a rail, like a typical tweaker...Great, a hillbilly Meth head! Wonderful! Fantastic!
I introduced myself, and he said he was Josh. We engaged in a little small talk until I finally asked him where the property line was. As he walked up he looked at the truck and said "Ya know you ain't gittin a tow truck down here." He then pointed to the property line, and told me he was the only one that ever used this drive. He fed dogs on the property in exchange for huntin rights.
At last, common ground! We talked huntin a bit then he said he could show me the driveway in if I was interested. I followed him down the woods makin sure to stay with in sight of the truck. Still was worried about a hillbilly ambush, and figured maybe Violet could run to my rescue, or at least bite me quick and git it over with fast. (I was feelin like that Baptist Preacher who was chased up a tree by an angry bear. He prayed "Lord if You don't help me; Be sure Ya help that bear!)
Walked back to the truck and just small talked about this n that. Finally I saw the tow truck and we walked off into the night to greet the driver as a light snow started to fall...
Back to Cindy, who is not rare to post here, but still Wonderful none the less.
I was SO excited to see that tow truck. Time elapsed since getting stuck? 1 hour and 15 minutes. It was starting to get cold. It was a cold winter day in Texas. The high had been around 38 and the wind was blowing 30 mph, even with the setting sun. I dutifully sat in the truck and let KB handle the AAA tow truck driver. I sat there. I sat there. And then I saw that beautiful tow truck driver off into the dying light!
(to be continued, I've run out of time)